There are many things in human heart. One of them is anger who can bring experience of intense, destructive and unhealthy emotions. We have to be able to handle it properly if we don’t want it cause drastic life changing consequences in our life. Unresolved anger can destroy something.
Anger is a feeling that makes people want to quarrel or fight. Anger is a very powerful emotion that can stem from feelings of frustration, hurt, annoyance, or disappointment. Anger is a normal response or feeling for human. But you have to recognize what anger is and in what level of anger we in.
Anger response level including:
1. assertive : we can express our anger without hurting someone’s feeling, or underestimate or killing someone’s self esteem. person can express their feeling or anger spontaneously, clearly, and openly without hurting someone’s feeling.
2. Frustration : anger response manifested in disappointment, defeat, stuck, failure to get what he want or need. the response that occurs due to failure to achieve goals because of unrealistic or obstacles in the process of achieving goals.
3. Passive are individuals unable to express his feelings. He keep anger inside. emotional state where individual try to pressed on his anger, escaping mentally, and try to delete the facts of their failures. it can be shown as apathy, ignorance, and stop caring.
4. Aggressive behavior that accompanies the anger and the urge to act in a destructive and is still controlled. aggressive person usually wont respect someone else rights. A demanding behave with threat words without intention to hurting. individual show hostility but he still able to control his behave.
5. Violence is uncontrolled behave signed by touch or hurt himself or others fearfully, Threat with action hurting or abuse himself or others from small until seriously injury.it is a strong feeling of anger and hostility with loose self-control. this is very destructive stage. individual can committed suicide or do criminal things (injuring or killing people).
I am sure everybody want to be at peace and content in their life. and some people dealing with anger management everyday. we have to recognize what anger is and in what stage we are right now. we have to open our mind and brave to be honest with ourselves.
There are many times if we wanna be honest to ourselves we realize how anger can bring troubles to our health, relationship, life, career, job etc. we have to be able to manage our anger with emotional intelligence (EI). Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups. and it is believed that EI play important role in someone’s successful.
Never to do anything in anger. Never make decision when your head boiled and ready to explode because anger. Take your time. cooling down and take a break. you suppose to make a decision after you calm down so you can use all your knowledge, wisdom and logic in your decision. Actually, it takes only a second to contemplate and light the lamp that will bring us to where peace is dwelling.
we have to develop how to manage anger in assertive way. develop how to communicate and express our feeling without yelling or in low tones, clearly, and to the point. And recognize how effective it can be. we will free from exhausted drama or conflict and of course it is very healthy to our mind, body and soul.
Additional verses about anger from the Bible:
Ephesian 4: 26,27,29, 31,32. Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun set on your anger, and do not leave room for the devil. No foul language should come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for needed edification, that it may impart grace to those who hear. All bitterness, fury, anger, shouting, and reviling must be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ.
James 1: 19-20. Know this, my dear brothers: everyone should be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath for the wrath of a man does not accomplish the righteousness of God.
Proverbs 19:11. It is good sense to be slow anger, and an honor to overlook an offense.
Proverbs 15:1. A mild answer turns back wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:18. the ill-tempered stir up strife, but the patient settle disputes.
Colossians 3:8, 12-13. But now you must put them all away. anger, fury, malice, slander and obscene language out of your mouths. Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt, compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do.
Psalms 37: 8. Refrain from anger; abandon wrath; do not be provoked; it brings only harm.
Proverbs 14:29. Long-suffering result in great wisdom; a short temper raises folly high.
Matthew 5:21-24. You have heard that it was said to your ancestors, ‘you shall not kill; and whoever kills will be liable to judgment’. But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment, and whoever says to his brother, ‘raqa’ will be answerable to the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, ‘you fool,’ will be liable to fiery Gehenna. Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Galatians 5: 22-25. In contrast, the fruit of The Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. against such there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ have crucified their flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also follow the Spirit.
“Anger and bitterness are two noticeable signs of being focused on self and not trusting God’s sovereignty in your life. When you believe that God causes all things to work together for good to those who belong to Him and love Him, you can respond to trials with joy instead of anger or bitterness.” ~ John C. Boger
“Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.” ~ Thomas A’ Kempis
Have a great day and may peace be with you